Where do I start? This piece of writing is not an attempt to impress. It is intended to make one think. Its not creative its expressive. Its not stylistic its simplistic and most important its straightforward. Its common sense and its real. Its my opinion about how I feel, what I see and understand the Bible to be.
The Bible needs no introduction. Its the most famous book in modern history. Men, religious and non religious from all walks of life have quoted this book. Many believe in it. Few die for it. It has affected everyone. The reason for this is it attempts to answer the fundamental question of human existence. What is life? What purpose is there? Is there a God?
This book is deep waters. I am aware. Its very controversial and complex. However, many are victims to this book. Many cannot swim. Many have no knowledge how it operates and the agenda. And so they dive to their death. All must approach the Bible with caution especially the young and inexperienced. Like I said, where do I start?
If you ask enough questions you'll know the truth and it may set you free. Freedom is a choice. One chooses to be free. Just like one chooses to go to war. Everything in life comes down to choice. Remember this.
The Bible must be approached critically from different angles to decipher. A scientific and mathematical approach, a introspective approach, a historic, political and social as well. All these are essential to correct interpretation.
It seems
Most people read the content but forget to evaluate the design of the book. They look at the style but forget its structure, which is key to purpose.They dont ask the important questions like why is there 66 books. Why 12 disciples of Jesus. Why is there an old and new testament? Why did God make the world in six days and whats the significance of the various repetitive numerology throughout the text.
They dont see the connection. A very frightening connection. A very subtle connection with the present affairs of the world. Everything has purpose. Writers dont just write. The bible has an agenda. There was a plan for its design. We need to wake up and smell the smoke. Look around. Unfortunately, Im not here to defend the bible. Let it defend itself. I am here to attack it.
If we as a people cannot draw the line between what is fantasy and reality, we're in trouble. The bible contains many texts compiled under various genres. There is Laws, history, poetry, wisdom and prophecy etc. What some dont see is the link and the agenda. There is always an agenda.
No doubt the writers of the bible text were very creative and brilliant people. Most artist, poets, writers are inspired people. Whether that inspiration came from God or a higher power, it was they who held the pen
and did the work. We see the God figure through the man and not the other way. We see a material world and then the spirit behind it. Every spiritual concept has a form and man is the highest form of spiritual intelligence.
If this is not true, then why do we praise the inventor, the creators of the world for their unique creation. Every tool of benefit to society was made by man. Think about this. From the wheel to the telephone to the plane. It was inspired man, crazy man who dared to dream. Is it a surprise that God is a spiritual concept created by man. It is man who gives God an identity. The say HE instead of it. Because man gets his identity of God from himself. There is nothing outside of him. He knows he cannot fly or touch the sun. He knows his limitations and thats what makes him man.
Ive already gone off course as you can see, but its all connected. The truth about the bible is this. It was designed to control you. Hate it or love it. God wants sheep. He doesn't want goats. The writers of the Bible, whatever the agenda, want to have their way. The heart of the Bible is the ten laws. This is its thesis and summary. This is what God wants you to do. However, its impossible to keep them without 'grace'.
Understand that God, (we're talking about a supernatural being) has the right to do whatever he wants. But ask yourself these question. First take a look at the world. What do you see? Is God responsible for all the deaths of innocent people? Is God responsible for hunger and genocide? Is God the cause of poverty and war? What about disease and pestilence? How can a God of love and mercy look at these things and do nothing. Too many have died in poverty under these conditions believing in God.
What is my point? God was never a part of this. HE cannot be blamed. There is life. And there is choice.
Men will always do what they want to do. Its all illusion. We all living in an illusion. We need to wake up.
God wills nobody to die. Like I said there is an agenda for the book. The story is real. The conflict is active.
The war is between God and Satan. But what you wont see or most dont understand is they both work together. Yes, Satan has to do what he must for Gods plan to fulfill. They are partners.
I know this is hard to understand but its the truth. The world has been controlled by a small group of people for a very long time. Read about it. The bible is written by men like you and me. We are the characters in the bible! We are the people that the prophets are talking about! Nothing has changed. The game continues.
However, not all the bible stories are to be taken literally. You have to know what is true and whats symbolic. You have to see yourself in the story, in the plan. Because the story is about you.
will continue
Mythical_Poet
draft 1
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Friday, 15 June 2012
Two Sabbath Keepers
JOKE (have a laugh)
An important note on, "do not judge" and quick thinking.
Two 'Sabbath keepers' met in town one Saturday.
One was coming from church, the other not 'dressed' for church.
The one coming from church said to the other, "uhm, yes man
so you're a sabbath keeper, eh; what r you doing here at such a time"?What would God think?
The young man just coming out a Bank ATM felt a bit guilty and surprised! Not sure how
to respond he quickly thinks up something to say,
he remembers an earlier deed, "oh, my sabbath keeping brother you dont get it you see that homeless man over, yes him, right there, his stomach is full because I wasn't in church today.
Oh yes I bought him a good lunch". Please tell God if I didnt go shopping today, that man would remain hungry. He then popped a smile, waving goodbye to the old beggar. The beggar smiled and responded with a goodbye wave. "My brother, right now my belly is empty so Ill have to see you at AY, bye!" He left the scene quickly.
Mythical_Poet
he remembers an earlier deed, "oh, my sabbath keeping brother you dont get it you see that homeless man over, yes him, right there, his stomach is full because I wasn't in church today.
Oh yes I bought him a good lunch". Please tell God if I didnt go shopping today, that man would remain hungry. He then popped a smile, waving goodbye to the old beggar. The beggar smiled and responded with a goodbye wave. "My brother, right now my belly is empty so Ill have to see you at AY, bye!" He left the scene quickly.
Mythical_Poet
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Why I Quit Nursing pt 2
I was really in the wrong field. My peers, some who were much older than me asked
what I was doing in Nursing. I like to think of myself as the prophet Jonah who ran
away from God, except I didnt know where I was suppose to be.
I was actually a Poet. Looking back I see that I never could have made it as a Nurse.
Im too sensitive and emotional to the needs of others, which would make it
impossible for me to make some logical left brained decisions.
Nurses are not soft, infact they are more skillful than doctors pertaining to patient care
You have to have emotional control to be a nurse. Something has to die inside you.
It actually is slavery, unfortunately that is the reality. It is very self giving.
My hat goes of.
A proverb says, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. My on-surface intentions for nursing
were 'good' but the underlying reason for me doing it was not. If you're doing nursing
for selfish reasons like money, you wont be happy.
Go do business or become a politician or something.
Nursing takes away from you, you are giving your life away everyday
with little to no reward. Im sorry if it sounds negative- but its true.
But they're people who love it.
Once I saw the bigger picture of the profession I was entering, I saw a bigger picture of life
The corruption in Nursing is just a small example of a bigger corruption of society.
I wanted no part of it, I couldn't play the game and so I pushed myself out.
Because it is a game, and if you have a pumping heart filled with blood, chances are
you wont play it well.
I didnt stay long enough to properly see the politics in Nursing but as a student it was real.
As reality kicked in, I had to kick out, but not without a fight.
It became obvious to me that some nurses never really cared for patients
they were just counting down their time to leave a shift and start another.
It is a cold place.
My first few weeks in the hospital scene was filled with excitement and
interest in learning, a little too much.
My instructors didnt like that I was so involved, even after they said to 'get involved'
I really thought I could make a difference.
It seems what I had in mind was not the intention of everyone else
I didnt like how some Nurses treated patience and how they talked to them.
I was being broken, and it was just a matter of time.
I really dont know how to say this correctly, but around that time, I felt great sympathy for myself.
I was really confused and made plans to leave. I prayed. I cried. I felt like a failure.
Every day I put of my decision to walk out, but one particular day
I sensed the presence of two forces in my mind. A part of me wanted to stay
and a part wanted to walk out, I couldn't decided which was stronger
As I silently contemplated I stopped what I was doing. I looked around the place,
I said to myself, "what am I doing", "I dont belong here", let me go
That very day I walked out.
That was the begining of my recovery and a new experience all together.
It was the first time I listened to my gut instincts and followed my heart
I didnt want to treat myself like that anymore. I was lucky to escape hell and hope I didnt
descourage anyone because that was not my intention.
Im better of where I am, and though other carrier are not as secure, I have peace of mind
I can do what I want, and go where I want and not be tied down.
Instead of being a Nurse be a Doctor, Still I could not be a Doctor.
Being a Doctor is just as stressful and you have to have a talent and calling for the
Medical field generally
Its sad that Nursing is the way it is and people are fighting to get in.
Its sad that the politics in nursing is a wild jungle;and the health industry is actually a
commercial business
Its sad so many good nurses suffer because of the flaws of the profession by
admininstraters
who could not care less whether a patient lives or dies as long
as the name of the hospital is intact
Its sad that I will never see the world the same again, it is what it is
a cold place.
God is the most abused name in the world.
I take responsibility for myself.
Mythical_Poet
A proverb says, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. My on-surface intentions for nursing
were 'good' but the underlying reason for me doing it was not. If you're doing nursing
for selfish reasons like money, you wont be happy.
Go do business or become a politician or something.
Nursing takes away from you, you are giving your life away everyday
with little to no reward. Im sorry if it sounds negative- but its true.
But they're people who love it.
Once I saw the bigger picture of the profession I was entering, I saw a bigger picture of life
The corruption in Nursing is just a small example of a bigger corruption of society.
I wanted no part of it, I couldn't play the game and so I pushed myself out.
Because it is a game, and if you have a pumping heart filled with blood, chances are
you wont play it well.
I didnt stay long enough to properly see the politics in Nursing but as a student it was real.
As reality kicked in, I had to kick out, but not without a fight.
It became obvious to me that some nurses never really cared for patients
they were just counting down their time to leave a shift and start another.
It is a cold place.
My first few weeks in the hospital scene was filled with excitement and
interest in learning, a little too much.
My instructors didnt like that I was so involved, even after they said to 'get involved'
I really thought I could make a difference.
It seems what I had in mind was not the intention of everyone else
I didnt like how some Nurses treated patience and how they talked to them.
I was being broken, and it was just a matter of time.
I really dont know how to say this correctly, but around that time, I felt great sympathy for myself.
I was really confused and made plans to leave. I prayed. I cried. I felt like a failure.
Every day I put of my decision to walk out, but one particular day
I sensed the presence of two forces in my mind. A part of me wanted to stay
and a part wanted to walk out, I couldn't decided which was stronger
As I silently contemplated I stopped what I was doing. I looked around the place,
I said to myself, "what am I doing", "I dont belong here", let me go
That very day I walked out.
That was the begining of my recovery and a new experience all together.
It was the first time I listened to my gut instincts and followed my heart
I didnt want to treat myself like that anymore. I was lucky to escape hell and hope I didnt
descourage anyone because that was not my intention.
Im better of where I am, and though other carrier are not as secure, I have peace of mind
I can do what I want, and go where I want and not be tied down.
Instead of being a Nurse be a Doctor, Still I could not be a Doctor.
Being a Doctor is just as stressful and you have to have a talent and calling for the
Medical field generally
Its sad that Nursing is the way it is and people are fighting to get in.
Its sad that the politics in nursing is a wild jungle;and the health industry is actually a
commercial business
Its sad so many good nurses suffer because of the flaws of the profession by
admininstraters
who could not care less whether a patient lives or dies as long
as the name of the hospital is intact
Its sad that I will never see the world the same again, it is what it is
a cold place.
God is the most abused name in the world.
I take responsibility for myself.
Mythical_Poet
Why I Quit Nursing pt 1
Make no mistake, nursing is very very hard. I had to quit, and I dont regret it.
The reasons why I left nursing are so complicated yet I will try to explain my
experience as briefly as possible. Where do I start?I entered Nursing because
I wanted to help people, I really did want to. At the same time, I wanted a long
term carreer that affored security and financial stability. I was looking for the
purpose of my life and existence and I somehow beleived God was leading me
to nursing. Now I am a very humble person, which I thought made it more easy
for me to be a "Nurse". I was wrong. I thought I was Gods gift
to the profession,I thought I was chosen for nursing. I cannot say I always knew
I would be do nursing, up until my decision it was a radical move. Im not going to
blame anybody but myself for choosing nursing, I will say I was naive
about the profession and ignorantly blinded by the security it promised. I beleived I
would make lots of money and not worry about a job, because as they say,
"nursing is always in demand",lol.
Perhaps my only guilt is what I put my parents through- they were paying my tuition.
But they did understand my decision. After two years of Nursing school I quit Nursing.
I just walked out the hospital. I cried. It was not my plan to exit the program
after I put so much effort and time into my work.
I couldnt understand what God was doing. I pleaded with him
to let me continue nursing, but his answer was, No, get out.
The truth, I was not dedicated or focused. I hated the hospital environment more as time went by
Nursing instructors are demons of mercy sent from hell, they dont want you to progress.
It started as I began to question my purpose for being in Nursing
Something began to change in me, I was turning into a zombie.
I gave 100 percent of my effort on my clinical rotations by those damn instructors
would not get of our backs, they wanted to break us and I knew it.
And being the quiet, reserved person I am I took every whiplash and slap without complaining.
I really never understood why they treated us harshly for doing our best
they would like pop-up at the clinical cites without warning
and blame us for what they perceived we weren't doing 'correctly'
It seems like they wanted us to attend to every patient at once, be everywhere at once
it was torture. One instructor blamed me for arriving at the clinical cite
three minutes late, and if I was very early they would act suspicious
they were crazy!, but I totally get it. It was not personal
Im surprised I even lasted that long.
Needless to say I became depressed, I lost appetite for food, enjoyable activities
my self care was being neglected, I had no time for myself and that was not good.
because of that I was getting weaker, I would get fits of rage,
my parents knew something was wrong- im not like that.
One time I got upset with my Dad for making me reach the clinical five minutes late.
I felt like shit. Nursing will kill your spirit slowly. If you are not cut out for it- dont do it!
I would advise everybody to take time to know themselves, nursing is a profession for the mature.
I entered nursing school at age twently, I had not clue where my life was going, I still dont but
im much better of. Nursing school was my worse experience but I turned it into a
learning experience to carry for the rest of my life.
I see it as God spearing me from a life of hell, not that im more special
but his mercy did not allow me to stay in it.
Still, I appreciate and respect anybody who can tolerate Nursing.
My bias is not towards good Nurses, but to the profession in general.
Besides they have to make a living, we all do, but Nursing is not for me.
I looked at Nursing from the innocent eye of a young naive boy, who thought he was the Messiah
that has come to heal the sick and feed the poor.
But I was the one who needed healing in the long run.
I will always say It is a very stressful career and only those with a death wish will venture
into its paths. Ill only get burned once, before I learn my lesson.
And if you want to call me a quitter, thats fine.
After nursing I took some time to recover and build back my sanity
I returned to college and did English
which turned out to be a better choice. I enjoyed every minute of it.
I found a job as a teacher and also a deep hidden talent for poetry.
I learned that life is unpredictable and so I im open to where the road will turn.
Like nursing I really never expected to go into teaching, but I enjoy it way better.
Like I said, its so complicated and personal the reason why I Quit Nursing. In part 2 I will continue.
Mythical_Poet
Perhaps my only guilt is what I put my parents through- they were paying my tuition.
But they did understand my decision. After two years of Nursing school I quit Nursing.
I just walked out the hospital. I cried. It was not my plan to exit the program
after I put so much effort and time into my work.
I couldnt understand what God was doing. I pleaded with him
to let me continue nursing, but his answer was, No, get out.
The truth, I was not dedicated or focused. I hated the hospital environment more as time went by
Nursing instructors are demons of mercy sent from hell, they dont want you to progress.
It started as I began to question my purpose for being in Nursing
Something began to change in me, I was turning into a zombie.
I gave 100 percent of my effort on my clinical rotations by those damn instructors
would not get of our backs, they wanted to break us and I knew it.
And being the quiet, reserved person I am I took every whiplash and slap without complaining.
I really never understood why they treated us harshly for doing our best
they would like pop-up at the clinical cites without warning
and blame us for what they perceived we weren't doing 'correctly'
It seems like they wanted us to attend to every patient at once, be everywhere at once
it was torture. One instructor blamed me for arriving at the clinical cite
three minutes late, and if I was very early they would act suspicious
they were crazy!, but I totally get it. It was not personal
Im surprised I even lasted that long.
Needless to say I became depressed, I lost appetite for food, enjoyable activities
my self care was being neglected, I had no time for myself and that was not good.
because of that I was getting weaker, I would get fits of rage,
my parents knew something was wrong- im not like that.
One time I got upset with my Dad for making me reach the clinical five minutes late.
I felt like shit. Nursing will kill your spirit slowly. If you are not cut out for it- dont do it!
I would advise everybody to take time to know themselves, nursing is a profession for the mature.
I entered nursing school at age twently, I had not clue where my life was going, I still dont but
im much better of. Nursing school was my worse experience but I turned it into a
learning experience to carry for the rest of my life.
I see it as God spearing me from a life of hell, not that im more special
but his mercy did not allow me to stay in it.
Still, I appreciate and respect anybody who can tolerate Nursing.
My bias is not towards good Nurses, but to the profession in general.
Besides they have to make a living, we all do, but Nursing is not for me.
I looked at Nursing from the innocent eye of a young naive boy, who thought he was the Messiah
that has come to heal the sick and feed the poor.
But I was the one who needed healing in the long run.
I will always say It is a very stressful career and only those with a death wish will venture
into its paths. Ill only get burned once, before I learn my lesson.
And if you want to call me a quitter, thats fine.
After nursing I took some time to recover and build back my sanity
I returned to college and did English
which turned out to be a better choice. I enjoyed every minute of it.
I found a job as a teacher and also a deep hidden talent for poetry.
I learned that life is unpredictable and so I im open to where the road will turn.
Like nursing I really never expected to go into teaching, but I enjoy it way better.
Like I said, its so complicated and personal the reason why I Quit Nursing. In part 2 I will continue.
Mythical_Poet
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Faithful Dimoga
There lived a man named Magezera in the Province of
Gitarama Rwanda whose wife had died. This man was left with a daughter of 2
years who he loved so dearly to his heart. The man also had a dog, a faithful German
shepherd, who was his best friend in that lonely village. Every-day Magezera
would play with his dog and teach him tricks. The man called the dog Dimoga
meaning a faithful dog. Dimoga would watch Kathrine for Magezera at nap time
and protect the house from bad men everywhere. All three lived in that house alone. Besides Kathrine Dimoga was the
only thing Magezera so loved.
One summer day there was a famine in Gitarama and
Magezera decided to spend his last money to buy some food for his daughter
Kathrine. He learned of a nearby village about thirty-three kilometres away from
Gitarama where it was rumoured abundance of milk, bread, corn, fruits and
beans. He decided to go to Kayumbu at once. Before he went he ordered Dimoga to watch the
house. He prepared the Friday afternoon.And so Magezera left early Saturday morning with a carton wagon and two horses
for Kayumbu.
However while he was gone something terrible
happened. Bad animals came to visit the home. The wolves surrounded the shed as
they heard the baby crying, crying, crying aloud inside. Dimoga prepared himself for a fight. By this
time it was late in the evening and Magezera was on his way home. Suddenly seven
wolves attacked Dimoga. It was a violent struggle. Dimoga managed to kill three
of the wolves but was badly injured. He ran to Kathrine and sat gently on top
leaving space for her to breathe.
By now it was early Sunday, Magezera was entering the small village when
he heard some noise! He said, “that
sounds like Dimoga”, and “that sounds like wolves”. He jumped of his wagon,
loaded his riffled gun and raced speedily towards his village home. As he
neared the shed, he shot two riffles killing one wolf and chasing the rest away.
His heart beat frantically for worry! His eyes tense and his muscles trembled
as he entered the house. He shouted Kathrine,
Kathrine, Kathrine! On top of his voice. Right there he was met by a trail
of blood he followed all the way to the crib. He cocked his gun when he saw a
dark creature sitting on top of a crying object with blood on its teeth breathing hard. In anger he
fired two shots killing the creature instantly with a sound he long remembered.
He turned on the light, his baby was alive! But Dimoga was dead from the
bullets of a riffle.
Draft 1
Mythical_Poet
Thursday, 10 May 2012
The voices I hear.
What do I make of this ordeal? Am I loosing my mind? I silently conceal these thoughts. Now I reveal.
Are voices real in my mind? Or is it just me? Why do I converse with these voices?
Its not what you think. Most of these voices are good, the ones I hear. Few are not. From far back as I remember few voices I would hear in my head. I never reported or said a thing.
The earliest experience with voices was a dream I had one time as a child. Laying in my bed surrounded by darkness. I heard a voice calling my name. The voice sounded as if increasing in volume every time my name was repeated. I remember hearing, martin, martin, martin, martin! My immediate reaction would be tears and frozen stiffness.
Other experiences were not as severe as this. Except for one particular experience three years ago. I believe I had a conversation with God. For short, I'll say it was a blissful experience. As I was moved by an overwhelming force of emotional energy that caused tears to stream down the surface of my face, I was compelled to respond. I wont go into the details of the conversation, except to say it was unexpected, random and short. I dont understand it- even to this day. It never happened again.
However, before this experience I would 'suffer' emotional attacks both highs and lows at unexpected times. I'll start with the highs. At times least expected I would come to tears for no reason. I would not understand why. It was all strange since the reason for my tears would be, well,- joy. Joy for no apparent reason that would come and go at unpredictable times. There were times before this,I would feel tremendously low emotionally. I would be unresponsive both physically and socially to my surroundings in a kind of lazy manner. It was terrible but not to a suicidal level. But I will admit, I had desires of running away and I really didnt care where!
Over the years Ive been suffering in silence. Ive learned to endure these surge of emotions. I also learned as a result of my probe that I was afforded with remarkable natural abilities of written expression and poetic skill. Currently I have written over 100 poems and over 50 essay format pieces of various styles from features, to short stories, to critiques and analysis from works of art to journal logs. I learned to use this to my advantage and accept what I cannot change. I loose motivation very easily. It is an ongoing struggle, but I know ill be okay. Perhaps I need my work reviewed by other writers editors. I leave most of my pieces at first draft and I am much of a perfectionist so usually im not satisfied and the work sits down and is never published.
I did speak to the voices I hear on few occasions. Though I never wrote most of those conversations. I will say, whenever I sense an 'energy' demanding my attention, the most suitable places for conversation are in quiet places. I live in a very hilly area which affords me peace and quiet. At times when I 'feel' the call- I would retreat on that hill and speak my mind. Its only as I speak my mind I would hear a response. Basically I would express any-thing that is of concern to me like school, my future, my purpose and mostly spiritual things. In response the voice would give advice and secrets. Seven out of ten times tears would be flowing.
I dont want to speculate why I hear the voices I hear. But I knew even from childhood that I was different. My difference was not the result of academic or family superiority since I was very average in school. I come from middle-class humble beginnings and not a luxury life. My parents worked hard so I never lacked. So I learned to count my blessings. I was not a dense or trouble child, but I had attention and learning problems to some degree. I had social anxiety to some degree and was very much quiet to some degree. I was introverted and I did not realize until college. I was also using my left hand while other students used their right. I also did not notice this.
I find that whenever I write or express myself through some artistic outlet, the voices reduce tremendously. When I hold them inside- they can be tormenting to me. For some years now Ive been taking up poetry and essays as an outlet of creativity. The rewards are satisfying. Though inspiration come and go like wind, I cannot give an explanation for the reason I write or the driving force behind my work except I get a sense of accomplishment and pleasure from seeing the fruit of my creation. I do it for my own pleasure and boasting as a kind of ego and showing my superior skill. Im not a show-off but I want others to read my work and relate. I write really for others. I want to entertain and provoke thoughts in the readers. I know when its good and when its bad. The mystery is- I dont understand how I can go from having nothing on paper to formulating something that seems to have appeared from nowhere joining together into a perfect whole.
Its as if I cannot believe my own creation. I become proud of it.Like I said, its an ongoing struggle. There are days I am completely immobilized and stuck, I cant seem to float on water, im struggling for air because im drowning. And there are days when I feel unstoppable and on top of things. Lately Ive been very rebellious and free spirited. Ive not been attending church as often, I pretty much do whatever I want. I can still hear voices of condemnation, but they are dying slowly becoming of no effect. I am really on a different state of perception. But its a lonely state. I prefer to stand alone. Im realizing that church is not really helping me, nothing can save me expect me. For me to be in church when I know I dont want to be there is hypocrisy. Im trying to be real. Its hard. I am looking for the real, Its very hard to find. Im looking for my place- I dont see it. I want to be free. I dont think im a bad boy, i just think im misunderstood.
The Bible that I use to love to read frequently, now I read only occasionally. I am more interested in my own thoughts and feelings and I am fast loosing the patience to sift through the word. I dont read as much as I should, but I do alot of thinking and listening. There is great power in listening!
I listen to my heart. That is all I need. This nobody has ever taught me. I believe John 3:16
Mythical_Poet
draft 1
Are voices real in my mind? Or is it just me? Why do I converse with these voices?
Its not what you think. Most of these voices are good, the ones I hear. Few are not. From far back as I remember few voices I would hear in my head. I never reported or said a thing.
The earliest experience with voices was a dream I had one time as a child. Laying in my bed surrounded by darkness. I heard a voice calling my name. The voice sounded as if increasing in volume every time my name was repeated. I remember hearing, martin, martin, martin, martin! My immediate reaction would be tears and frozen stiffness.
Other experiences were not as severe as this. Except for one particular experience three years ago. I believe I had a conversation with God. For short, I'll say it was a blissful experience. As I was moved by an overwhelming force of emotional energy that caused tears to stream down the surface of my face, I was compelled to respond. I wont go into the details of the conversation, except to say it was unexpected, random and short. I dont understand it- even to this day. It never happened again.
However, before this experience I would 'suffer' emotional attacks both highs and lows at unexpected times. I'll start with the highs. At times least expected I would come to tears for no reason. I would not understand why. It was all strange since the reason for my tears would be, well,- joy. Joy for no apparent reason that would come and go at unpredictable times. There were times before this,I would feel tremendously low emotionally. I would be unresponsive both physically and socially to my surroundings in a kind of lazy manner. It was terrible but not to a suicidal level. But I will admit, I had desires of running away and I really didnt care where!
Over the years Ive been suffering in silence. Ive learned to endure these surge of emotions. I also learned as a result of my probe that I was afforded with remarkable natural abilities of written expression and poetic skill. Currently I have written over 100 poems and over 50 essay format pieces of various styles from features, to short stories, to critiques and analysis from works of art to journal logs. I learned to use this to my advantage and accept what I cannot change. I loose motivation very easily. It is an ongoing struggle, but I know ill be okay. Perhaps I need my work reviewed by other writers editors. I leave most of my pieces at first draft and I am much of a perfectionist so usually im not satisfied and the work sits down and is never published.
I did speak to the voices I hear on few occasions. Though I never wrote most of those conversations. I will say, whenever I sense an 'energy' demanding my attention, the most suitable places for conversation are in quiet places. I live in a very hilly area which affords me peace and quiet. At times when I 'feel' the call- I would retreat on that hill and speak my mind. Its only as I speak my mind I would hear a response. Basically I would express any-thing that is of concern to me like school, my future, my purpose and mostly spiritual things. In response the voice would give advice and secrets. Seven out of ten times tears would be flowing.
I dont want to speculate why I hear the voices I hear. But I knew even from childhood that I was different. My difference was not the result of academic or family superiority since I was very average in school. I come from middle-class humble beginnings and not a luxury life. My parents worked hard so I never lacked. So I learned to count my blessings. I was not a dense or trouble child, but I had attention and learning problems to some degree. I had social anxiety to some degree and was very much quiet to some degree. I was introverted and I did not realize until college. I was also using my left hand while other students used their right. I also did not notice this.
I find that whenever I write or express myself through some artistic outlet, the voices reduce tremendously. When I hold them inside- they can be tormenting to me. For some years now Ive been taking up poetry and essays as an outlet of creativity. The rewards are satisfying. Though inspiration come and go like wind, I cannot give an explanation for the reason I write or the driving force behind my work except I get a sense of accomplishment and pleasure from seeing the fruit of my creation. I do it for my own pleasure and boasting as a kind of ego and showing my superior skill. Im not a show-off but I want others to read my work and relate. I write really for others. I want to entertain and provoke thoughts in the readers. I know when its good and when its bad. The mystery is- I dont understand how I can go from having nothing on paper to formulating something that seems to have appeared from nowhere joining together into a perfect whole.
Its as if I cannot believe my own creation. I become proud of it.Like I said, its an ongoing struggle. There are days I am completely immobilized and stuck, I cant seem to float on water, im struggling for air because im drowning. And there are days when I feel unstoppable and on top of things. Lately Ive been very rebellious and free spirited. Ive not been attending church as often, I pretty much do whatever I want. I can still hear voices of condemnation, but they are dying slowly becoming of no effect. I am really on a different state of perception. But its a lonely state. I prefer to stand alone. Im realizing that church is not really helping me, nothing can save me expect me. For me to be in church when I know I dont want to be there is hypocrisy. Im trying to be real. Its hard. I am looking for the real, Its very hard to find. Im looking for my place- I dont see it. I want to be free. I dont think im a bad boy, i just think im misunderstood.
The Bible that I use to love to read frequently, now I read only occasionally. I am more interested in my own thoughts and feelings and I am fast loosing the patience to sift through the word. I dont read as much as I should, but I do alot of thinking and listening. There is great power in listening!
I listen to my heart. That is all I need. This nobody has ever taught me. I believe John 3:16
Mythical_Poet
draft 1
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
The World Without Money?
Money can make you love or hate. It can make you fight and compete?What would the world be without money? Let us examine for a second or more the implications of a paperless world. In a system we can all relate lets start by stating the obvious use or need for money.
1. We need money for food.
- imagine going to a supermarket and asking the cashier,your neighbor, Hey Ms. Sue, listen up, a may I borrow three loafs of wheat bread, two sliced turkey, 3 package chicken breasts, tin of baked beans, pack of spaghetti,a bottle of milk, some cereal and canned fruits, please? She would think you're crazy! Stop it.Your trying to get me fired?Stop wasting by time. Next!
2. We need money for living expenses and others
-imagine telling your landlord you dont think you will be able to afford rent for say aa the next year or two. He would probably say, o,sure you can live here free of cost and by the way I'll pay for the light, water, cable and phone-bill as well. Have a good life! No.Worse, if you have a mortgage under NHT- you definitely need that cheddar.Yes. Education may be the key but if you cant afford it, no door will be opened for you. hint. The Doctor wants to help you, you need to help him first. The pastor has a family to feed and manna no longer drops from heaven.
3. We need money for clothes and other comforts
- This one is tricky. We need good durable shoes, good comfortable wearable fabrics, and the rest. By the rest I mean a nice watch is not a crime, for some women jewelery is not a luxury, a nice car will ease the pressure of time and sweat, technology makes life better, amen! For imagine a world without Laptops,cellphones, pagers, calculators, music players (there so many nowadays)appliances and other cool gadgets of communication we use at our discretion. Imagine not having money to buy them. Money is needed for Infrastructures in business, entertainment, recreation, sports and other activity of human interest. Without these infrastructures- goods and services cannot be maintained and organized for convenient access and distribution to the public. For example-without a supermarket to store food, how would we survive a famine without a reserve?
What else do we need money for?
4. We need money to travel and see the world.
- This is a good one. Imagine going to a airport with just a cheap drivers license (it is cheap) and telling the front desk operator
- one trip to Paris please o and make it first class, yes. No! I guarantee you will be escorted first class, but it wont be to the terminal! See even money is big business.
5. Finally, and the most obvious reason
- we use money because everyone else uses money. Economics will tell you the more there is a demand the more there is need for supply. Nearly everything demands money nowadays- even a bottle of water! The more people there are who share an accepted currency, the more that currency is enforced to keep people using it. Make sense?Virtually the entire world uses some sort of currency. If the majority of the world population would wake up and decide to stop using money altogether, according to this law of economics the majority will win. People always follow what works and is more convenient. Nobody wants to loose. Hence money is in.
Now imagine if all major farmers across the world decided to go on a strike. We're screwed. How many of us have knowledge, plant our own food, to build our own homes, make our own clothes, and shoes? Are creative people still in town? How much can we do for ourselves?I guess the only safety would be to learn some vital skills for ourselves.
To me money is like magic. I'll tell you why-Its seems to have a captivating charm effect on people. You'll be surprised at what some people will do for a little cake (money). Im no mathematician or economic financial market guru but a little common sense is all I need. Money makes the world spin, we all know that, we should, but the mystery still exsists. For if money makes the world spin, then who makes money spin? That one will take another blog and more. But you already know the answer.
So why do we want money?Because we need all these things.Why do we need them?Because we cant do without them.But to answer the question set from the beginning, Its pretty simple to me. Without money, we would inevitably find a way to eat, live, cover ourselves and make life easier. Thought I dont know how the extremely rich would take this suggestion. Probably not so well. Without money or any other form of exchange we would probably be forced to depend on each other in some way or another.
Maybe thats exactly what we need. Maybe not!
Mythical_Poet
dft-1
1. We need money for food.
- imagine going to a supermarket and asking the cashier,your neighbor, Hey Ms. Sue, listen up, a may I borrow three loafs of wheat bread, two sliced turkey, 3 package chicken breasts, tin of baked beans, pack of spaghetti,a bottle of milk, some cereal and canned fruits, please? She would think you're crazy! Stop it.Your trying to get me fired?Stop wasting by time. Next!
2. We need money for living expenses and others
-imagine telling your landlord you dont think you will be able to afford rent for say aa the next year or two. He would probably say, o,sure you can live here free of cost and by the way I'll pay for the light, water, cable and phone-bill as well. Have a good life! No.Worse, if you have a mortgage under NHT- you definitely need that cheddar.Yes. Education may be the key but if you cant afford it, no door will be opened for you. hint. The Doctor wants to help you, you need to help him first. The pastor has a family to feed and manna no longer drops from heaven.
3. We need money for clothes and other comforts
- This one is tricky. We need good durable shoes, good comfortable wearable fabrics, and the rest. By the rest I mean a nice watch is not a crime, for some women jewelery is not a luxury, a nice car will ease the pressure of time and sweat, technology makes life better, amen! For imagine a world without Laptops,cellphones, pagers, calculators, music players (there so many nowadays)appliances and other cool gadgets of communication we use at our discretion. Imagine not having money to buy them. Money is needed for Infrastructures in business, entertainment, recreation, sports and other activity of human interest. Without these infrastructures- goods and services cannot be maintained and organized for convenient access and distribution to the public. For example-without a supermarket to store food, how would we survive a famine without a reserve?
What else do we need money for?
4. We need money to travel and see the world.
- This is a good one. Imagine going to a airport with just a cheap drivers license (it is cheap) and telling the front desk operator
- one trip to Paris please o and make it first class, yes. No! I guarantee you will be escorted first class, but it wont be to the terminal! See even money is big business.
5. Finally, and the most obvious reason
- we use money because everyone else uses money. Economics will tell you the more there is a demand the more there is need for supply. Nearly everything demands money nowadays- even a bottle of water! The more people there are who share an accepted currency, the more that currency is enforced to keep people using it. Make sense?Virtually the entire world uses some sort of currency. If the majority of the world population would wake up and decide to stop using money altogether, according to this law of economics the majority will win. People always follow what works and is more convenient. Nobody wants to loose. Hence money is in.
Now imagine if all major farmers across the world decided to go on a strike. We're screwed. How many of us have knowledge, plant our own food, to build our own homes, make our own clothes, and shoes? Are creative people still in town? How much can we do for ourselves?I guess the only safety would be to learn some vital skills for ourselves.
To me money is like magic. I'll tell you why-Its seems to have a captivating charm effect on people. You'll be surprised at what some people will do for a little cake (money). Im no mathematician or economic financial market guru but a little common sense is all I need. Money makes the world spin, we all know that, we should, but the mystery still exsists. For if money makes the world spin, then who makes money spin? That one will take another blog and more. But you already know the answer.
So why do we want money?Because we need all these things.Why do we need them?Because we cant do without them.But to answer the question set from the beginning, Its pretty simple to me. Without money, we would inevitably find a way to eat, live, cover ourselves and make life easier. Thought I dont know how the extremely rich would take this suggestion. Probably not so well. Without money or any other form of exchange we would probably be forced to depend on each other in some way or another.
Maybe thats exactly what we need. Maybe not!
Mythical_Poet
dft-1
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