Why I Quit Nursing pt 1

Make no mistake, nursing is very very hard. I had to quit, and I dont regret it.

The reasons why I left nursing are so complicated yet I will try to explain my

experience as briefly as possible. Where do I start?I entered Nursing because

I wanted to help people, I really did want to. At the same time, I wanted a long

term carreer that affored security and financial stability. I was looking for the

purpose of my life and existence and I somehow beleived God was leading me

 to nursing. Now I am a very humble person, which I thought made it more easy

 for me to be a "Nurse". I was wrong. I thought I was Gods gift

 to the profession,I thought I was chosen for nursing. I cannot say I always knew

 I would be do nursing, up until my decision it was a radical move. Im not going to

 blame anybody but myself for choosing nursing, I will say I was naive

about the profession and ignorantly blinded by the security it promised. I beleived I

would make lots of money and not worry about a job, because as they say,  

"nursing is always in demand",lol.

Perhaps my only guilt is what I put my parents through- they were paying my tuition.
But they did understand my decision. After two years of Nursing school I quit Nursing.
I just walked out the hospital. I cried. It was not my plan to exit the program
after I put so much effort and time into my work.
I couldnt understand what God was doing. I pleaded with him
to let me continue nursing, but his answer was, No, get out.
The truth, I was not dedicated or focused. I hated the hospital environment  more as time went by 
Nursing instructors are demons of mercy sent from hell, they dont want you to progress.
It started as I began to question my purpose for being in Nursing
Something began to change in me, I was turning into a zombie.
I gave 100 percent of my effort on my clinical rotations by those damn instructors
would not get of our backs, they wanted to break us and I knew it.
And being the quiet, reserved person I am I took every whiplash and slap without complaining.


I really never understood why they treated us harshly for doing our best
they would like pop-up at the clinical cites without warning
and blame us for what they perceived we weren't doing 'correctly'
It seems like they wanted us to attend to every patient at once, be everywhere at once
it was torture. One instructor blamed me for arriving at the clinical cite
three minutes late, and if I was very early they would act suspicious
they were crazy!, but I totally get it. It was not personal
Im surprised I even lasted that long.
Needless to say I became depressed, I lost appetite for food, enjoyable activities
my self care was being neglected, I had no time for myself and that was not good.
because of that I was getting weaker, I would get fits of rage,
my parents knew something was wrong- im not like that.
One time I got upset with my Dad for making me reach the clinical five minutes late.

I felt like shit. Nursing will kill your spirit slowly. If you are not cut out for it- dont do it!
I would advise everybody to take time to know themselves, nursing is a profession for the mature.
I entered nursing school at age twently, I had not clue where my life was going, I still dont but
im much better of. Nursing school was my worse experience but I turned it into a
learning experience to carry for the rest of my life.
I see it as God spearing me from a life of hell, not that im more special
but his mercy did not allow me to stay in it.
Still, I appreciate and respect anybody who can tolerate Nursing.
My bias is not towards good Nurses, but to the profession in general.
Besides they have to make a living, we all do, but Nursing is not for me.

I looked at Nursing from the innocent eye of a young naive boy, who thought he was the Messiah
that has come to heal the sick and feed the poor.
But I was the one who needed healing in the long run.
I will always say It is a very stressful career and only those with a death wish will venture
into its paths. Ill only get burned once, before I learn my lesson.
And if you want to call me a quitter, thats fine.
After nursing I took some time to recover and build back my sanity
I returned to college and did English
which turned out to be a better choice. I enjoyed every minute of it.
I found a job as a teacher and also a deep hidden talent for poetry.
I learned that life is unpredictable and so I im open to where the road will turn.
Like nursing I really never expected to go into teaching, but I enjoy it way better.

Like I said, its so complicated and personal the reason why I Quit Nursing. In part 2 I will continue.

Mythical_Poet