Friday, 30 March 2012
On being Introvert
When I was younger I really thought nobody liked me,
little did I know it was only my personality.
All the teachers, elders, pastors nobody wanted to give me
one on one attention which I craved. They never knew.
What I really wanted was love and acceptance from my peers.
In early school, I never had much 'friends', I mean
to say, I never walked with a crowd of 'cool kids'- no.
I stayed to myself mostly. And dont ask me why, I dont know,
thats just the way I was.I was different! I wasnt a mean kid or a bully,
you can say I was overly sensitive. Never took the teasing part well
now its humorous to me. My oversensitivity made me so well behaved
and quiet, I reverenced everyone.
The unfortunate thing is- at the time,
I never knew that about myself so I was embarrassed of my self
I thought less of myself because deep inside I compared myself to
other children without knowing it- I just wanted to 'fit in'.
The truth is, it was hard for me to be social at times, why?
At times School, in my opinion, can do more damage than good.
To be totally honest- I hated school! I hated church alot more!
But I was quiet.
As I grew older I saw things a bit differently, I started to look
into it, and I made a discovery which nobody told me: I was an Introvert!
The sooner I realized this and accepted it- the sooner socializing became easier.
I then realized it came with a few benefits like I was able to concentrate internally
and pull my thoughts and ideas together very quickly and express them readily on paper
with imagination and creativity. But I need a lot of practice. This knowledge of myself liberated me immensely.
I became free as a bird. Im not lying- I switched my major to English ASAP. And began a new experience altogether. It made me care less about what the world thinks because now im caring for myself!
I let certain feelings go. Daily I learned to accept myself, to control my emotional sensitivity by directing
it into profitable persuits like poetry.I accepted myself and how God made me, and so I grew. Now the rest is history.
Mythical_Poet
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